Countdown
by jc'amour
Summary: Ten, nine, eight ... the countdown's begun, and Susan and Caspian must take their final steps and face reality. Suspian.
1. Susan

He looked at her, sadness reflected in all areas of his face.

She looked at him, reflecting the same emotion.

_Ten..._

Words were spoken, but no amount of vowels or consonants could change the fact that this was the end for them.

No words could replace Aslan's.

Their hearts were breaking, with each second drawing nearer to their separation.

_Nine..._

She turned around, he watched her walk away.

_Eight ..._

But, forgetting all her judgement, she ran back to him.

All eyes were on them, but the voices drowned out as the two shared something they had never done before.

That kiss was their first and only, and would be the last.

_Seven ..._

It was the final goodbye, her last glance into the world she loved, the place where she had left her heart.

Looking into those eyes, she could see all his unanswered questions, all these lingering emotions racing at once, wondering if he too saw hers.

Was that enough? Was that final gesture enough to give herself away to him for eternity?

_Six ..._

Taking the final step into her future, all was left behind and she had to face reality.

The loud noises echoed through the tunnel as the train pulled up to the station, but nothing could be heard except her heartbeat racing wildly inside.

_Five..._

Quickly, the four Pevensies grabbed their belongings and boarded the train. The conversation between the siblings seemed to be only distant echoes for Susan, as she sat there all the memories racing through her mind.

A tears formed and fell from her lifeless eyes.

_Four ..._

Gripping onto her skirt, she cried. Tears fell upon her calloused hands and she could do nothing to stop them.

These were the hands that held him, caressing his face as she shared her emotions with him, the hands he held when lifting her up onto his horse – how could she ever forget him?

Placing her fingers on her trembling lips, she could feel the coldness.

_Three..._

_Drip. Drip. Drip. _

_Why ... why ... _

All thoughts were then interrupted by arms that wrapped around her shoulder. Looking up she saw it was Lucy, smiling gently at her.

"It's alright," cooed her younger sister.

"I know, I know," she replied trying to sound reassuring, wiping the tears from her eyes.

_Two..._

"It's alright to cry you know," Edmund added, with a sad face as he looked upon his sister.

"You'll see him again one day – I mean we didn't enter Narnia just to forget it for forever," Peter said, trying to be a bit reasonable with her.

Hearing those words made sense and knew that each syllable held truth.

"You're absolutely right," she responded.

Lucy smiled gently, "Goodbyes were made so you could say hello once more."

With that, Susan smiled, knowing one day she would see him again.

She would not forget, she'd just remember and keep her memories knowing she could share them with him once more.

And she would wait for that final moment.

_One ..._

_Two, three, four..._

**A/N**

**First fan-fic ever. Hope you enjoy. (:**

**Please be nice and review ! **

**Also I don't own these characters -- although I wish I owned Ben Barnes ! I joke ... or do I ;**


	2. Caspian

He watched her walk away.

_One step, two step, three steps ..._

Temptations within him wanted to run and grab her, pull her towards his heart – the place where she belonged and would always stay.

But, his feet were planted in place.

_Four, five, six..._

She glanced back.

_Seven, eight, nine ..._

_Please, don't leave. Stay with me! Stay ..._

But the silent words his heart was calling out could not be heard, because in that last second she took a step and walked out of his life.

He stood there, wanting to cry.

_Why ... why?!_

Anger. Love. Sadness.

All these emotions were boiling beneath his skin. Cutting deeper than any wounds ever could.

Clenching his fists, he saw her dancing in his mind.

He could see her smile, her tears, her frown, he saw all parts of Susan others may have never seen.

But, the look her blue eyes left him with was stuck in his vision.

Love.

She had loved him. He saw it in her eyes. He felt it in her kiss, in the way her hands held him close – gently.

"Your Highness ..."

Awakened from his visions of her, Caspian looked towards the great Lion, "Aslan..."

"Caspian, she has taken her final steps. She has completed her duties. It is time you start yours."

Hiding his pain, he wiped the forming tear from his eye, trying to gain composure. He knew those words were true. He knew he had much more to accomplish.

Her journey may have ended, but his had just begun. He would cherish that last moment forever with him.

He knew his heart would heal, just like war wounds.

But like his scars, this memory would last for forever.

And he would remember and cherish it for eternity.

She would live her future and destiny, and he would live his.

With one final glance at the tree that took his first love away, Caspian took a deep breath, and did what Susan had done.

Gathered up his courage, and taken his first step.

_One, two, three ... _


	3. Her

Long ago had she forgotten those games of pretend.

Long ago had she chained her heart away, leaving it black and empty.

She was never going back.

Their lies still echoed in her head.

She kept faithful for years,

... and by now he would be dead.

Along with her memories.

Her love was lifeless.

And her life was lonely.

Along with her memories, her siblings were now fading out of existence.

_Will I forget them too?_

Their smiles would never shine towards her again, their voices would never echo down the stairs or in their rooms.

They were gone.

Four had now become one.

Smeared lipstick, spilled nail polish, and shattered glass littered her bedroom floor.

There was nothing left to do but cry.

_How much more time will pass, before my existence fades?_

Through tear-stained eyes she hurled her alarm clock, breaking it across the hardwood.

But no matter what, the clock ticked on.

_Tick. Tock._


	4. Him

As he looked into her eyes, he could see so much.

But it was not how he met her during his voyage.

It was not how her golden hair shone like the sun.

And it was not how her beauty had captivated him.

Looking into her eyes, he saw into his past.

He did not see blonde hair, or pale skin.

He saw waves of brown hair, blowing in the wind.

He saw the blue eyes that had seen the emotions beneath his skin.

As her own arrow had pierced through others,

Cupid's arrow had hit him right on target.

He felt her hands in his own.

He heard her voice calling his name.

And he felt her lips, tenderly pressed against his.

He saw Susan.

The girl who was his first love and first heart ache.

The reason for his smile and his tears.

It had been years since he first laid eyes on her, years since he had saw her smile, since he heard her laugh. Years since that goodbye.

Recollecting the events that had happened years ago had awakened the caged emotions within his heart, creating illusions of Susan before his eyes.

The urge to grab onto these images and race back in time kept eating away at Caspian.

But in a blink of an eye, the illusions were gone.

She was gone, and there before him was Ramandu's daughter.

He smiled towards her, realizing that that was then, and this was now.

Two words escaped from his mouth – holding both regret and joy.

"_I do."_

And although he was overjoyed as he shared a kiss with his wife, he couldn't help but wish that this connection could be shared with another.

For as hard as he tried, he could never replace this emotion that continued to linger.

But as the seconds of the kiss passed, he couldn't help but feel more distant to Susan than ever.

He had watched her walk away, and now he was walking away from her.


	5. She

_One sip. One cup. Two sips. Two cups._

The liquid felt like poision upon her lips, but the rush of euphoria she felt was more than enough to make her want more.

Her slurred words uttered terms she promised would never escape from her mouth.

_Narnia this ... Narnia that ... _

Thoughts of that land filled with magical creatures and battles race through her drunken mind. Creating a mockery of herself, she couldn't help but laugh through clenched teeth.

All they could see was her lopsided smile and sloppy actions, but deep down she was drowning her sorrows.

_He's dead! They're all dead to me! Why do I care?_

She knew somewhere far away her heart had been buried with a single man, but she couldn't seem to kill off the memory along with the man.

_Three sips, three cups ..._

Her mind felt like it was on fire, moving fast with images of her past...the past she tried to forget.

Her lips moving faster.

They all stared at her with eyes – but not of these eyes seemed real to her.

Where was the pair she was looking for?

Continuously laughing and just dancing around she caught a glance of herself in a nearby window.

An image of a messy-haired, makeup smeared, and smiling woman looked back at her.

_This is what they see, this is what they all see._

But, all she could see was the young dying girl she had tried to escape from.

_Who am I?!_

The cold, blue eyes stared back at her, before everything turned black.


	6. He

As the old King looked out over his Kingdom, the cloudy skies and silent night represented his aching heart.

He had lost her, that star that shone so brightly in his life had faded, and though reunited with his son...he could not help but feel a sense of loss.

He was alone. Back to the beginning, watching another woman walk out of his life.

But though his heart was breaking for his wife, he could not help but feel for a certain other.

_I walked away from her. I walked away._

But it was not Ramandu's daughter he had walked away from years ago.

It was a young archer that he had tried to forget.

Though his memories kept fading each day, something still kept him connected to her. All over the palace, portraits of the Kings and Queens of old would look at him with their eyes. The blue ones piercing away at his soul.

Though he was burdened with guilt at times for thinking such things with his wife there, regret still ate away at his heart.

_I'm sorry._

A single tear, the one he had wiped away years ago, was forming and fell down his wrinkled cheeks. His sobs soon echoed through the silence and he did nothing to stop them.

Looking upon the sorrowful sky, the clouds parted to show one bright star. Looking at the bright light, he made a final wish.

The horn he hadn't touched for years was now held tightly in his frail hands.

And with his last breath, Caspian blew into the horn to hear that sound one last time.

And in the far distance a lion roared.


	7. Them

A thick fog and a dark sky surrounded her, as a chill blew across her delicate skin.  
Through the blackened sky she could make out a figure.

As her heart beat erratically, and her hands numbed with shock, she knew.  
Though it was only a shadow, no light was needed.  
She knew it was him.

Rising to her feet she chased after the vision.  
Only silence escaped her mouth, as she tried to yell his name.

So, all she could do was run.  
Voices echoed as she placed foot after foot.

_Don't leave me.  
Why?! Why?!  
Susan, come back.  
I'm sorry._

The distance seemed to grow with each step as the shadow faded away.

Teardrop after teardrop poured down her face, as the voices – his voice – echoed through the night.

Voices she had tried to ignore had finally caught up with her.  
This life she tried to run away from, she was now chasing after.

* * *

He wanted to desperately shatter the window of her dreams and grab onto her.

Seeing her in pain ate away at his heart, and filled his veins with anger.  
She was not chasing him, but only an illusion – a trick her broken heart was playing.

"I know it breaks your heart, but through this sorrow, the Queen is saving herself."

Staring into the eyes of the lion, he knew not to question Aslan's choice.

All Caspian could do was watch, as he intently saw deep into Susan's dreams.  
Through the silence, he called out to her, with the words his heart could never share.

* * *

Finally out of breath, she stopped and fell – sobbing uncontrollably.  
Her life was flashing before her and all she could do was watch.  
Watch herself fall deeper and deeper into the grey areas of life.

And each tear that fell, erased all the darkness and revealed light.  
Slowly the distant echo of a horn could be heard in the distance.

_I may be dead, but please do not kill me off in your heart as well. Please...I love you._

And the voice was gone.

* * *

_I love you too._

She had heard him!  
He looked upon the tear-stained Queen, tears forming in his own.  
But like before, Susan once again disappeared.  
Once again, she was gone

But, this time, his heart did not break.

He would wait for her.  
Here in eternity he would wait.  
And when the day would come where she would appear before him, he was prepared to take the first steps.

Just as he had, years ago ...

* * *

Awakening to constant beeps, she turned to face the machine beside her.  
Voices echoed down the hall, but none could replace the voice deep within her.

One word had broken her heart.  
Two years had ruined her life.  
But three words had put her back together.

She was no longer angered with the clock ticking away, for she knew she was only being drawn closer to a reunion.

The end had only brought a new beginning, and it had started now.

_One, two, three ..._

_The End._


End file.
